


Words I'll Never Say...

by Quackyeon



Category: The Maze Runner (Movies), The Maze Runner Series - All Media Types, The Maze Runner Series - James Dashner
Genre: Fluffy, Internal Monologue, M/M, Musing, Random - Freeform, i got carried away, im sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-28
Updated: 2015-09-28
Packaged: 2018-04-23 18:23:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4887052
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Quackyeon/pseuds/Quackyeon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Minho can't help but watch Newt sleep, and regret the things he can't say out loud.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Words I'll Never Say...

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first attempt at a Maze Runner fic, and I was trying something new with this whole first person thing so I'm sorry if there are any mistakes. 
> 
> This happens during /The Maze Runner/ so they are in the Maze. 
> 
> Also Un-Beta'd

Looking across at you sleeping soundly, your blond hair strewn across your face, your sleep has been fitful, but I don't want to move to hold you and end up waking you up. It's taken you a while to get back into sleeping normally, everything has been weighing heavily on you again, and you know I worry. I can't help it, you're the only thing that keeps me sane here. Without you being trapped in the glade and running every day would be worse than the Flare, but you make everything bearable. You are the reason I can face every day, every time I'm running in the maze, you're the reason I know I have to get back. 

You're amazing Newt, you've been through so much and you're so much stronger now than you were before. All those nights and days after what you did to give yourself that limp where we just talked, where I listened and my heart broke a thousand times just hearing the pain you were keeping inside. I will never let you hurt like that again, I can't cope with it, you deserve to smile everyday. Even if we are trapped here, you are still perfection, still the most handsome when you're smiling. 

I like your laugh too, it's like music to my soul - although I don't get to hear it that often and that's really ok. There's not much to laugh about here, we're trapped and Grievers cry out through the night so it's not exactly the most fun place to be. But it's the only home any of us can remember so, I guess that's something. 

Sometimes I wonder if you're secretly in charge, you're amazing with people, holding us together like glue. Making sure that everyone works cohesively and we don't have any major problems. Alby would be nothing without you - and I know I can't say that out loud but I'm pretty sure that most people agree with me. You're really something Newt. You just have a way with people - even greenie's - You're like everyone's home and not just mine. 

I am jealous, you know, I want you all to myself. But everyone needs you. They need you more than you even know - which is another thing I love about you. You don't know just how amazing you are, because if you did you'd never be with a shuck like me. You'd aim higher - although I am pretty great, you know, leading the runners. But you, you lead everyone. 

I wonder a bit, about your life before the maze. But I know there is no point, none of us can remember anything and I guess that is ok. We get to make our own future together. Not that there is really much future in the glade. It seems like one day our luck will run out. I can't find a way out for us. I want to. I want to get us out and live with you somewhere. I don't know where either of us are from and I don't know how we can set up a life outside the maze but I want to. 

I know I don't tell you all these things, I know I don't express myself the way you do. I wish I could but I just can't. I don't know how to even begin telling you all these things, that I'm only brave enough to think when you're asleep. I don't know how you can be brave enough to say these things to me when we're awake. But I get this feeling that deep down you know that I really do feel these things and that they are just trapped inside me. 

I am tempted to move your hair out of your face, but I don't want to do anything that could disturb you so I just keep to myself, just watching you as you sleep. _It's not creepy_ , I promise. You're just so attractive even when you sleep and it's really the only time I can think, because I'm not worrying about if you're sleeping or what you're thinking.

You move in your sleep and I smile a little, you're sound asleep and that's all I ever want. I know it's tough and I know I could say more, but I like how we are now. No one knows we're together, or it's like this sort of unspoken thing and I really don't want everyone getting involved in our relationship. It's just us, me and you, Newt. It's us against the world. I won't let anything happen to you.

You always know what to say to me, when I'm stressed and having a bad day, when I'm having problems with runners - or worse when we lose one. You're always the one who picks me up and gets me back to wanting to do it again, to get us out, to run in the maze. I never thought I'd meet someone like you, someone who knew exactly what to say to me. 

I like our secret meetings in the maze room. I love kissing you against the walls, holding you close and the way you smile against my lips. I love how we can make love, even if it is against a wall and your leg can sometimes cramp and we have to work around your injury. It makes it more special, you know, because we have to be careful, because it really shows just how much I know you. Just how much we work well together. I love how as you're panting after we finish you always say the cutest things to me as if we haven't just been making love against a wall. You're my perfect match, I just don't really want the others knowing everything about us, plus Alby will kill us if the younger ones start asking question's he's not ready to answer. 

It's not that I'm ashamed of this, of us, I'm so proud to be yours and I love you. I _love_ you. _I love you_. I pause slightly before settling down into my own makeshift bed and close my eyes and for the first time let myself tell you, "I love you Newt." 

"I love you too Shuckface."


End file.
